One line movie summaries

I played this game with a friend on facebook. You have to summarise a movie in one sentence. Reposting my take here.

Sideways: Grape Expectations.

Asoka: King Khan gloriously emerging from bathwater to romance a thinly clad Kaurvaki, and other bollywoodian shenanigans set to a backdrop of some Kalinga claptrap.

Devdas: Alcoholic loser hangs out with dancer-types before dying pathetically amidst colorful sets.

Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Gham: Stinking-rich people letting loose lachrymose family valves over family values in phoren country.

Any Seagal movie: Look at my grumpy face, I'm gonna kick yer ass, punk!

American Beauty: Pimply faced kids are about as beautiful and filmable as a free floating plastic bag before they turn into dysfunctional, materialistic, joyless grown-ups.

Any of the Die Hard movies: I'm like "duh" when it comes to anything remotely modern, but mess with my family and bam!! Duh!

Eight Mile: I'm pissed off, so I'll rap, cut some albums, make this movie and make y'all watch it.

Rocky: Underdawg beats topdawg after some incoherent grunts, setbacks and montage shots of unconventional training methods using meat and shit, yay!

The Terminator: He needs to time travel to the past so he can make babies to live in the future so that he can time travel to the past to make babies.

Arlington Road: Holy crap, the neighbors may be terrorists!

Snakes on a Plane: Snakes on a plane.

My Cousin Vinny: Whipped Italian-American fellow is a better lawyer than he is.

Thelma and Louise: Bored wimin beat the crap outta people and take off.

Spielberg speshul
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AI: Creating androids is nice, but this can soon turn into a bigass mess!
Jurassic Park: Recreating dinosaurs is nice, but this can soon turn into a bigass mess!
Minority Report: Predicting the future is nice, but this can soon turn into a bigass mess!

Napolean Dynamite: Nerdiness is next to danciness.

Sphere: All you have to sphere is sphere itself.

Eyes Wide Shut:Lust can be unpredictable, meanwhile watch this orgy.

Most of the superhero movies like superman, spiderman, daredevil, aquaman, broccoliman, batgirl, electra, catwoman, roachwoman, crappolagirl: I am so super, but I have super issues to agonize over, mmmok? boohoo! give me $9.5 and I will feel better *sniff*, *sniff*.

Groundhog Day: Groundhog day, groundhog day, groundhog day, groundhog day, groundhog day, groundhog day, groundhog day ...